Trust Him with all you have.

Woman intuition can lead you if you don't let your heart get in the way.

So a little while back I was feeling some major attacks.  My husband was seeing a physical therapist and something just took hold of my spirit and ran with it.  I have complete trust in my husband but something in my gut kept insisting that something wasn't right.  It brought me to tears and down on my knees.  I  tried talking about it but my poor husband didn't get it, there was no cause to the effect I was feeling.

Sometimes all you really can do is pray and TRUST.  But when you don't know what to pray it can be hard and you end up with very selfish prayers that aren't really honoring God or your husband in the outcome.  So feeling lost and confused I picked up this prayer book I borrowed from a friend.  The thing I love about it is that several of the prayers are marked.  I prayed over temptations, wisdom, his work, protection of his mind, healing of his body.  All those things along with the scriptures that went with them.  It was funny the first time I did the first prayer I had marked and then the one right before it (or so I thought) because the next time as I turn to the prayer before the card it was a different one and more suited as well.  That happened at least 3 times.

After I started my prayers daily every morning for the most part, a peace came over me that I was so thirsty for.  I know look back and can see how silly that whole thing must have seemed.  But some other things happened as I prayed.  My husband started coming to a marriage group that I had been going to for a few weeks, he listened to scripture with me and even started a couples devotion with me.  Our time together is so awesome that it feels as if we were just married although a lot more tired (3 little ones will do that to you).

If I would have just followed my heart, it would have led to fights and accusations that would have pushed us farther apart and who knows where.  Seeking God and trusting Him with my marriage and my husband, we were able to grow in so much more.  I want to have not just a purposeful life but a very purposeful marriage.  This isn't just someone I live with my someone I choose to spend the rest of my life with, the honor and adore.   This bond needs to grow and strengthen and to do so needs constant attention and work.  How blessed I am by our great Lord and the gifts he has given.

stay out ofthe way

I love my husband so much and it pains me to see him make decisions that are contrary to the way we want to live.  As Paul says I want one thing but I do the other.  Ok, I want to do good but I inherently screw up.  Well I have seen so much growth spiritually in my husband over the years and if there is one thing that is consistent with that growth it's that I stay out if the way.  I pray with, over, and for him but desperately try not to suggest what he needs to do.

Last October he got baptized and instantly I could see the attack that was on him. I tried to insist but he didn't see it and I tried to talk of spiritual matters that he didn't see/feel yet.  So I stopped, it seems that the more I press and event speek of spiritual things the farther he gets. But today he went up for prayer on his own without my suggesting or really understanding what was going on.  He was asking for prayer over his spiritual dedication.

Pastor Mike Johnson had been talking about renewing that new Christian "smell" renewing that passion we once had for him.  I didn't even know that that would hit him, all I did was pray the spirit would speak to him, touch him lift him up during our worship time.  Guess it took hold.  He is without a doubt the most amazing man I have or will ever know.  That I am sure of.

please enjoy the view with me

If there was one thing I wish my husband understood about me more it would be how much I long to have him by my side as we sit outside and enjoy, marvel, become refreshed by Gods beauty. I love to sit outside and just breath thefresh air as we look up at the stars or snuggle by a river and watch how lovely it all is. Hopefuly we will get a chance this summer when we go to the beach. I love my man with all my heart and I know we have differeny interests. I just wish he could share this moment with me. He wants me to sit and watch a movie with him well I want him to sit and enjoy the stars with me. Hum someday, guess I'll treasute the moment thatmuch more when it happens.